Gypsy souls, magic dust and life beyond the big 50.

I could never understand people getting 'tired' of supporting their closed ones emotionally. Some people act like knights in shiny armour when they first meet someone who looks like they could use a friendly shoulder. They offer the sky. They go above and beyond. And then as time goes by and they realise that their presence, alone, though helpful, doesn't make the other person magically solve their problems, they get a bit bored of the whole thing. I guess it might not be as ego fulfilling, being THE one that provides a solution is such an attractive idea.  But truth is, most deeply ingrained issues take years to see a way forward from. Sometimes decades. Sometimes they'll always be there, even though people learned to deal with them better. Our role, as friends, closed ones, partners, parents, whatever, is not to 'make them go away'. We're not Gods. It's also not up to us to decide how long it takes that person to overcome something. It's not up to

It's dark outside. It's dark outside all day and I struggle with that lack of light, it's like a fog is over our heads all the time and my mind never quite clears as it should. Like I'm stuck in one of those dreams in which you want to wake up, but things don't quite work as expected. Having said that, it feels a bit like the world is not quite working as expected. People have gone obscure. Like there's a dark veil over their consciousnesses too. I feel like I'm waddling through muddy waters when I try to speak to people. Rejection sensitive dysphoria tells me it's me. I've grown dislikeable. Now that I don't try to please everyone, people don't like me as before. Is it that? Am I still accepted as I am, now that I grow more and more into myself? And how many people will get tired quickly once they get too close? How many of us ask themselves these questions but never voice them? And how quickly do we get disappointed with people because they