Materiality can be overwhelming, and not many people understand just how overwhelming it can be. I wish we had soft words and bright spirits, I wish we were able to pull each other up more consistently. I wish we could all take the necessary steps to make other happier. But we are only human, and all we're left with is the everyday trying.
Grateful, so grateful to be alive and for the life I do have, still I sit here waiting for the courage to organize this space, this sanctuary, waiting soon, so very soon, for welcoming changes yet once again. Still, I wish we could feel the joy more consistently, how to bring the optimism into the soul of the pessimist?
And I breathe, breathe deeply, and ask God or some unifying power to give me strenght. So much strenght is necessary to be sweet and kind, it can be so much easier to put our defenses up...
I miss my special people, the ones who were always there and will always be, but phisically far away. I miss the sun and the long days. I miss the freshness of not feeling the weight of worry because there's nothing more than the present and sweet dreams. But I cherish so much what I have today, and wouldn't change it for the world.
Necessarily, I have to close my ears to harsh words that are said with no real meaning but to vent the frustration in one's heart. Not all the cumplicity I have always wished for is here, but I am stronger even than the lack of it, and there are very good reasons for that.
I wish for the sun and breeze inside and I will find them myself. The door is open for whoever wants to join me. We must give the example.