Wednesday, December 02, 2009

A body of butterflies










-The problem is....well...the butterflies, you see?
-Butterflies? - she asked.
-Yes, in my stomach


-Why don´t you let them out?
-Excuse me?
-Yes, the butterflies. Why don´t you let them out?
-I tried to. They seem to like it in here, though.

-What about flowers?
-Flowers?
-If you surround yourself with flowers, maybe the butterflies will want to be around you, instead of inside you........... Just don´t eat them!
-What?
-The flowers.

-If you grow flowers in your stomach, the butterflies will never leave it.
-I don´t think one could, anyway.
-So...where could one grow flowers?
-Inside one´s body, you mean?
-Yes.
He paused and said: - Inside their veins, I suppose.

-Probably also in their hearts, I should think.
-And....would it be really terrible to have butterflies in your heart?
-I don´t think so. Actually...that could even be enjoyable!

-So, what´s the plan then?
-First you have to grow flowers all around you. Then, wait for some seeds to fall into your veins. When there are enough flowers in either your veins and your heart, the butterflies will leave your stomach.

Mara C.




:) wellcome to my room of wonders. If you´re new here, I would appreciate you would read my two first posts.

Some more bad things about me

8) The need to feel special. Ok, we all have that in a way or another...but is ...I don´t know, silly. I am addicted to people telling me 'oh, you´re a special person'. Of course people who are close to us are special and unique for us.... The thing is that sometimes I find myself believing that´s an absolute truth, instead of a relative one....

9) Goes with the previous one......I can be so arrogant sometimes. I think to myself I have this big insight not everyone has, and that I am so cool because my priorities are so peculiar, and because I have this constant need to create, and that although I am afraid of most things, I am also brave, because I tried facing a lot of them....and therefore I end up feeling superior ot some people. I know, it´s really stupid...and I actually hate it when I see it in other people, but it happens to me a lot. I must slap myself in the face (not literally) and remind myself how obnoxious I am being!

10) I hate confrotantion and run away from it as the devil from the cross. Not saying it is good to be confrontational. But it´s not good to be unable to deal with it. If I really have to, I will, but probaly I will end up all shaky and tearful. In general, I always try to avoid it though, at least with most people.

11) Need to please. I love to be liked. I will not try to be someone I am not in order to please. BUT...I will try to get to people´s heart, so that they can not 'not like me'. Meaning, I will understand their way of seing things, and find a way to make them sympathize with mine.

12) My tendency to feel rejected. I often take things personaly, even if I don´t necessarily show it. It´s childish, and I am able to think rationally about it....but I am unable to avoid the feeling.

13) Bad temper. And guess who suffers the most with that...my boyfriend. I am not a usually bad tempered person, it´s not that. But I do tend to do that very stupid thing, when something doesn´t go wrong, internally I search for someone ot blame, and that someone must be my partner. Getting better at understanding what I am doing though....

14) The fact that I am inteligent enough to often find excuses for myself.

15) The fact that no matter how many excuses I find, I am my worst critic and not always very toleran t about my failures. And that doesn´t help, because the more I criticize myself, the less I am able to do for myself.

16) Think too much about death. Well, it´s true. Every since I was a child I was midly obcessed with the idea of 'do we really end when we die? or is there an after death life?'. I am not wondering about my days in paradise, nowadays, but I am always too concious that life will end, for each one of us, and I often wonder if there is another sort of stage, of existence, after that happens. It´s not always a bad thing to be aware of life´s finitude....but sometimes it just makes things overdramatic.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Back























It´s been a long absence, but I´ve returned, and would like to share some pictures of Madrid with you. MadridasI am learning to know it, everytime I visit and take the day just to wonder around.





:) wellcome to my room of wonders. If you´re new here, I would appreciate you would read my two first posts.

Madrid through my eyes































































Friday, November 06, 2009

Very bad things about me...continuation

5) My absolute lack of tolerance with people who have no insight towards themselves. I can´t help it, I can feel myself being mean, but I hate when people choose not to face their real selvs. It gets even worst when people are trying to show off, when it becomes obvious that they are trying to show the world they are a certain type of person. I just get this impulse to be really really mean and make them know I can actually see that they are showing off. I feel like a really bad person then, because I wan´t to destroy their masks, and I often can´t help it.

6) I hate it when I find myself showing off as well. (and it´s really annoying, because I know I am showing off, and I hate myself for doing so). It´s not happening a lot these last years, thankfully.

7) The fact that if people try to compete with me, I will get into the fight. In a general way I have no real interest in competing with anyone, but the moment someone shows a tad bit of competition towards me, it all changes and I feel this need to tell them without words 'get out of my way, you´re no challenge for me!'.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Things I hate about me...continuation.

4) Proscratination. One of the most odious things about me.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Things I hate about me...part I

1) I hate it that I am so bad at managing my time.
2) The fact that I slip so often into a protected space, that protects me from pretty much everything, including the things I need no protection from.
3) I hate that my will is constantely fighting against my fear and my inertia.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Back

It´s been a long while since I don´t post in here, because I haven´t been having internet at home. But now I do, and I intend to go back to posting soon. I miss it. I just need a short time to find my....posting path, let´s say.





:) wellcome to my room of wonders. If you´re new here, I would appreciate you would read my two first posts.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

The brighter side

Although I am not exactely in the mood, I will write about the things which I most love about people. The reason I am not exactely in the mood has actually nothing to do with anyone but me (so that you don´t think I am a witch that does nothing but to be annoyed by others) I´ve got this wheezing sound when I am breathing in that is having me worried. Partially because I am a bit hypochondriac (probably not spelled this way) about unusual symptoms and partially because they say on the net that I should be worried :P

Never mind that for now, as I have no way to solve it.

Here they go, things I love about people:

1) People who are themselves, who don´t worry about causing an impression or being cool. (this has ramifications, as you will see)

2) Ramification 1 - People who assume things that are usually seen as 'uncool' and really don´t bother about that. Stupid example: I was asking this really nice guy 'which sort of music do you like' and he answered 'know what? I really don´t listen to music a lot. I used to when I was a teenager, but you know, mostly comercial, like Queen, etc' It might sound silly and obvious but it is not. Lots of people would just make something up.

3) Ramification 2 - people who assume their downfalls (although this is a tricky one, some downfalls can actually cause an impression). Even the downfalls they really wished they didn´t have. Like: 'not all my feelings are noble.'

4) People who have no age. We all have age, obviously, but some people, even being perfectely aware of theirs, just don´t have it as a justification or limitation for anything (it doesn´t equal to be imature lol)

5) People who actually are interested in other. Who listen, who want to know others deeper.

6) People who see behind the masks, behind appearances. People who are not foolled by shallow images.

7) People who are able to play.

8) People who are able to put things in perspective and not overdramatize situations.

9) People who are not afraid of being afraid and are not afraid to show they are afraid.

10) People who are open to their feelings....no matter how strong OR WEAK they are. Meaning...for some people it´s easier to enfactuate feelings, for others to reduce them. Some people are afraidof feeling too much, others too little. I love it when people just FEEL. Final stop.

11) People who can put themselves in others place and respect their choices, efforts, etc..

12) People who don´t need to compare themselve to others to feel they are good enough. (rare, for most of us poor mortals, but some people get really close to this)

13) People who dare trusting. Really hard to do, really hard to find, but how beautiful is it when somebody just trusted you for apparentely no reason.

14) People who dare making mistakes, who dare being absolutely unperfect. Again, beautiful. They are the ones who always learn the most.

15) People who tell you what they think on your face (it doesn´t equal to being insensitive). Sometimes not very pleasant, but hey.....at least you´ll know where you´re stepping.

16) People who have a sense of humour towards themselves, even when the situations truly suck.

17) People who never feel they know enough.

18) People who are creative.

19) People who have a personal style. Not fashionable, not trying to look different, not trying to look cool. People who just have it. It doesn´t mean they are not aware of that, or that it isn´t something built- of course it is. I can´t explain it, but some people just make it an art. It´s just how they are.

20) People who have small attentions to you.

21) People who share with you the good and the bad.

22) People who are willing to support you when you´re down, but also to share your victories.

23) People who can read between the lines.

24) People who love to discuss feelings for hours no end.

25) People who believe in the invisible.

26) People who feel the urge to create, as something natural.

27) People who live and let live.

28) People who think beyond day to day life.

29) People who know anything is possible.

30) People who are still in touch with their inner child. (again, it doesn´t equal imaturity)

31) People who are willing to listen to what life has to say to them.

32) People who are passionate about something.

33) Warm people.

34) People who try to understand before making any judgments.

35) Tactful people.

36) Sensitive people (don´t, it doesn´t necessarily mean having to have a physical reaction towards anything that is supposed to cause an impact).

37) People with a sense of humour.

38) People who half live in wonderland.

39) People who know their limits. (many ways to interpret this, but I just mean....we all have limits....)

40) People who recognize their dark side.

41) People who can recognize and aknowledge the dark side in others.

42) People who recognize, aknowledge and admire the dark side in others, without pointless fascinations.

43) People who allow themselves to be fascinated by other people, without necessarily wanting to become like them.

44) People who are beautiful (nope, not magazine cover beauty :P ) .


Woooo.....I am glad my creativity is still more stimulated by positive things than by negative ones. I could actually go on and on, but honestely, I am a bit tired alrealy LOL. Having said all this, I do love people, and there is a lot more I love about people than what has been mentioned.

Other things I should say:
1) every rule as one or more exceptions.
2) Mentioning these things doesn´t mean:
a) that I don´t love someone because the don´t tick the boxes.
b) I am conviced I fullfil most of what´s been said. I don´t. I wished, but I don´t. But those are things I love and admire. Also, I am not saying none of it applies to my person. Some does.


Following: things I hate about myself, things I love about myself (maybe like will allow me to have a bigger list), and just things I love, in general.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Rants

Ok, this will be a totally sensless post, but I really need to ramble. Just have into account I am in one of those days of the month. And that we all have our small annoyances. Right?Hope so, otherwise I will feel quite the freak.

Anyway, this is a post about what I hate in people. That´s not a very nice thing to write about?! Well...you don´t really HAVE to read it, DO YOU???? (ok, jocking, I swear, just kidding now)

Sometimes it´s good to let some things out, that way you vent them and you may be able to think more clearly afterwards (and hopefully this is not just wishfull thought)

So, things I hate about people:

1) When people who are supposed to be are only your friends under certain conditions. And I don´t mean it on extreme conditions. I mean when people always impose a series of conditions, as if they wished to control the exact distance between you and them, as if they didn´t trust you in some sort of distorted way.

2) People who are under or over reactive to things. Do you know those people who always react as if nothing in the world excited them? They annoy me. Final stop. But do you know the ones who always find everything OH SO AMANZINGLY FANTASTIC? Well...they annoy me as well. As in: a lot!

3) People who can only talk through sentencies and ideas that were made and written by others. Who don´t really talk, just quote.

4) People who avoid you not to say something nasty they are feeling about you. Oh for God sake, just shout it out!!

5) People who always like what you like, even if they had never heard of it 10 mn before you had mentioned it. Why don´t they just get a personality of their own?

6)People who always have to blame the bad happenings on something or someone. If it´s not the person next to them, is their boss, if it´s not their boss, it´s the neighbors, if it´s not the neighbors it´s the government, if it´s not the governement it´s global warming....... Get over it, life sometimes it´s just not fair. I am so sorry, there is no one to direct you anger to!

7) People who always have to have an opinion about something (even if they don´t really have any knowledge on the subject) because they think it makes them sound cool.

8) People who always have to excuse their downfalls 'I´d dance better, if my foot wasn´t hurting', etc... Yeahh, we´re not perfect. Duh

Ok, I do hope this post doesn´t give me bad karma. I will write one tomorrow about the things I absolutely love about people :)

Friday, July 10, 2009

Four weddings and a comunion....















I had 4 weddings this year (and a comunion, but I took no pictures of my outfit that day). As I said before, weddings are not my cup of tea...but I enjoy the opportunity to wear my vintage outfits. All of the previous one are truly vintage, except from the third one (which is from primark :P)


:) wellcome to my room of wonders. If you´re new here, I would appreciate you would read my two first posts.